If you do not feel that mediation is an option, or if your spouse or ex-spouse will not agree to mediate, then you may have no other alternative but litigation.
Judges do not like receiving piles of paperwork, and they routinely order sanctions against parties and attorneys who abuse the other party and the judicial system. If you are going to engage in litigation, be sure that you retain an attorney who is not only skilled in the law but who also knows how to manage a case in an efficient and professional manner.
You might be a wonderful person, but if your lawyer’s personality leaves much to be desired, an otherwise impartial judge may rule against you in areas where discretion and attorney conduct are at issue. If you want to outmaneuver a shark, hire a dolphin.